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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a long bearded redneck and a long bearded ISIS man? One wants to eat filthy american pigs, and the other wants to kill the filthy american pigs."

"There was a water fight at our local park today... ...and I won!!! Nobody is a match for me and my kettle!"

"What do you call two Mexicans on a firetruck? Hose A and Hose B."

"I like my women how I like my buscuits Covered in semen."

"I used to be into BDSM, beastiality, and necrophilia... But I realized I was just beating a dead horse. EDIT: poster does not condone the beating of any horse; living, dead, undead, or imaginary."

"Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike."

"[NSFW] I am no gynecologist.... But I know a cunt when I see one"

"My girlfriend walked in on me putting on a condom. She said, ""What are you doing?"" I said, ""Wrapping your Christmas present!"""

"I dreamed I was floating in an ocean of soda, but when I awoke I realized it was just a Fanta Sea."

"There's one thing I can't stand when I'm drunk Up"