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Joke of the Day

"Why did the programmer die in the shower? He followed the shampoo instructions."

"I use so many age defying crinkle creams that I don't have finger prints anymore."

"What does a gynocologist and a pizza man have in common? Thay can smell the goods, but they can't taste them."

"How to raise a kid? I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions?"

"I recently got fired from a calender factory All i did was take a day off"

"What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? Nothing."

"Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend? Because they're both cauldron"

"I don't know which is stranger: That the cat buried a mouse's body in the yard, or that the service was attended by dozens of mice in suits."

"Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you're 35 and realise it's a chilling documentary."

"HOROSCOPE: You'll read a horoscope today. ME: Whoa, it's like they know me."