130620
Joke of the Day
"HOROSCOPE: You'll read a horoscope today. ME: Whoa, it's like they know me."
Next Joke
"Well, just got a job at the guillotine factory. I'll beheading there now."
"If you insist on changing someone, do it without their knowledge....Like by poisoning their food."
"My 2 year old wanted to race me home from daycare and I am TOTALLY winning. I don't even see her tricycle in my rear-view mirror."
"Did you guys know that diarrhea is genetic? It runs in your jeans."
"[Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*"
"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None"
"Doctor! Doctor! I think I have Barry Manilow's disease! ""What are your symptoms?"" ""I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!"""
"This vegan I met said she knew me But I'd never seen herbivore"
"My girlfriend is ambidextrose she can polish off a box of chocolates with either hand."