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Joke of the Day

"HOROSCOPE: You'll read a horoscope today. ME: Whoa, it's like they know me."

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"What did the meter sticks say to the lonely ruler? You just don't belong."
"What did Drake say when he got out of the elevator?"
"12 Signs You Might Have Leprosy - Number 8 is jaw-dropping!"
"Opening a Christian gym called 'Jehovah's Fitness'"
"Did you hear about the magician that turned his family into a 3-piece suite but couldn't change them back? They were rushed to hospital where staff described them as ""comfortable""."
"How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood? His hand caught on fire."
"How many Freuds does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and the other one to hold the penis.. I meant... The ladder."
"Mom, can I have another piece of pecan pie? ""You mean MAY, not CAN"" Ok, mom can I have another piece of pemay pie?"
"If you woke up and couldn't remember the night before and your ass hurt real bad would you tell anyone? Want to go camping?"