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Joke of the Day

"This World Cup game is crazy Brazil did nazi this coming."

"I told my chiropractor that my spine was already in alignment, but he proved me wrong. Now I stand corrected."

"Girl on my bus has a therapy dog with a marked vest and I was like, ""what kind of therapy is he in?"" because of course I said that"

"Panties LUST : Tearing her panties off. Love : Sliding them down gently Marriage : Folding them regularly"

"One day I'm probably going to be too lazy to breathe and just die."

"A car says a lot about the owner. I have a KIA which tells people I have bad credit."

"Why are lawyers and their clients not allowed to engage in sexual relations? So the client doesn't get billed twice for getting fucked twice!"

"Pro Tip: Ask the guy sitting next to you if he's gonna freak out about you watching fetish porn before you waste $8 on in-flight wifi."

"I wanted to start my vegan diet but apparently cannibalism is frowned upon."

"I wonder what the bees inside Wilma Flintstone's vibrator talked about: ""Another fight with Fred? Looks like we're working overtime again."""