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Joke of the Day

"Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move."

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"[meeting a couple at dog park] ""BARK BARK!"" GF: He's usually not like this [pulls me aside] GF: Stop yelling bark bark at those nice people"
"How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with ""A woman once told me.."""
"Every 5 out of 6 people say Russian Roulette is fun... I wonder why the sixth guy hates it"
"Holocaust jokes ARE NOT funny Anne Frankly, they make me disgusted."
"I like my lantern like I like my metal Core"
"You ever notice when your phone decides to call someone its someone you don't want to talk to.!"
"Why did the unfaithful Arabic woman cross the road? To get to the other Sayid."
"Don't give a women flower, she may have hay fever. Don't give her chocolate, she may be on a diet! Give her wifi so there's no excuse."
"Alien vs predator Guys what if a pedophile assualts an illegal immigrant, would it be called alien vs predator?"
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