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Joke of the Day

"Alien vs predator Guys what if a pedophile assualts an illegal immigrant, would it be called alien vs predator?"

"I was on TV last night When I'm drunk, I sleep anywhere."

"Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year."

"If your new boyfriend carved your initials into a tree on your first date, let the fact he brought a knife be a sign of things to come."

"Google+ is like the gym of social networking. We all join it, but nobody uses it."

"It's hard to juggle work and a baby... ...without the baby getting a few paper cuts. I haven't left my room today."

"Did you hear about the singing laptop? It's a Dell."

"I had a friend buy a European car and he kept telling me about it breaking down. I had to tell him that I didn't want to hear anymore of his Saab stories."

"How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one? The domesticated doesnt have balls"

"Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to."