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Joke of the Day

"Somalis at the Olympics... The Somalian Olympic Committee issued an official apology earlier in the week, after realising that sailing and shooting are separate events."

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye... It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time"

"Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth? He didn't have a Gar"

"Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers."

"How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone? Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT."

"What do the NFL and Jail have in common? You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver."

"What's the difference between a tuna and a piano? You can tuna piano but you cannot piano a tuna."

"Just used my CVS receipt to build a really cool fort for the kids."

"New drinking game: Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, chug someone else's beer."

"Let the bodies hit the floor? Ok but first let me put down some plastic this is new carpet I don't want to ruin it my mom will be pissed"