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Joke of the Day

"Some people are just better left alone. In a jacket, in a room with padded walls."

"Couples who have been married for a long time start finishing off each other's sentences. The most popular being ""Shut up""."

"She said we needed to talk and... I said, ""Yeah, I think we should break up, too."" She said, ""About where to eat."" ""Oh,"" I said, ""Pizza?"""

"[M]y boyfriend asked me i[f] I could do him in the butt. I never pegged him for that type of guy."

"Sorry in advance Why did Helen Keller dog kill itself? You would to if your name was aaaaaaaauuuuggggfdddshnvxxkjkuuokkgdsgj"

"How does Donald Trump keep a handle on integral equations? He grabs them by the +c."

"Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street? They were arch enemies."

"Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice? It didn't like being double crossed."

"The first thing I thought when I saw that House Republicans wanted more Congressional Bengazzara hearings... ""This seems a bit much, wasn't *that* bad as Jackie Treehorn"""

"An atheist, a vegan, and a Crossfitter walked into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."