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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a black woman is pregnant? When you pull out her tampon and all the cotton is picked."

"Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!"

"Is it cocky to have more than one penis? I think it's two cocky."

"Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage? He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq"

"It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100."

"Health tip: There's never a 'safe' time to shake a teenage boy's hand. Never."

"Quickest way to offend a Jew you tell them Noweh!"

"Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?? She was a woman"

"Breaking News: Uncovered Nazi documents reveal a cure for cancer was found An oven.."

"I'd offer to help with your website... ...but it's not really my domain."