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Joke of the Day

"ME: I need to pee really bad TEACHER: can you hold it? ME: probably not. my hands aren't very good at retaining liquid"

"To err is human... To arr is pirate."

"Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got hung up on the boards."

"We were watching The Discovery Channel on the couch. I was naked. She was afraid. I guess I should have probably introduced myself first."

"How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE"

"What do you call a communist pirate? Lutin."

"What did the German say to the abundance of old memes vielen dank"

"Chuck Norris can clear 5 lines at once in tetris."

"To try change my friends mind about puns I told him one a day for 10 days to try and get him to laugh But no pun in ten did."

"I feel melancoll, meloncholl, melancholl, meloncholy, you know what, I'm good."