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Joke of the Day

"Men: Don't lie to your woman, she'll catch you. Don't tell her the truth, she'll be pissed. Just pray for a brick to fall on your head."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"

"What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef? **FILET MIGNON!**"

"Honest slogan Benadryl- ""Because you can't have the sniffles while in a sleep coma"""

"Daycare sent me a pic of my 4yr old daughter holding hands with a boy.. with interlocked fingers.. INTERLOCKED FINGERS? send bail money!"

"I'm a fighter not a lover I'd rather beat guys off than love them"

"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."

"How do you make a latte? Add $5 to a cup of coffee."

"Every timeI see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think....there's another prostitute making a house call......"

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Syd"" ""Syd who?"" ""Dys Leiax"""