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Joke of the Day

"What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef? **FILET MIGNON!**"

"Why is the customer service at the Reddit Restaurant so terrible? Because all of the servers are busy."

"""OK...that Trust Exercise didn't go exactly according to plan. Once we dispose of the bodies let's keep quiet about this...AS A TEAM!"""

"where do babies come from?? where the hell are they GOING is what i wanna know, folks!"

"How does a sheep farmer find a sheep on top of the mountain ? Acceptable"

"My ransom was dropped from $30,000 to fifty bucks when my parents told my kidnappers it'd take 2 days to come up with the money."

"Invention of the knife ""What is that?"" I call it the 'knife'. ""Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"" Greg, I am about to blow your mind."

"I just got a new job at a gay magazine. I'm a poofreader."

"The scariest part of the show ""I didn't know I was pregnant"" is that there are enough of these women to sustain an entire series."

"Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn't have waffle cones but they had PICTURES of waffle cones. That guy was me."