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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"

"What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans? Being rescued by the Americans"

"I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake."

"I'm not trying to be racist but black people are darker than white people."

"I'd like my headstone engraved in Burger King font."

"[At dinner with wife's friends] Me: may I chime in Wife: I swear to God if you brought your chimes- *my bag dings a little as I unzip it*"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? AYEE ya thought it be ARRR but it be the 'C'!"

"""Where was you at?"" I was probably not skipping English class."

"Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"" ""I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."""

"How did the duck become a junkie? He was addicted to quack."