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Joke of the Day

"Daycare sent me a pic of my 4yr old daughter holding hands with a boy.. with interlocked fingers.. INTERLOCKED FINGERS? send bail money!"

"Trying to argue with someone over text is like being Italian and trying to talk with handcuffs on"

"Hey, you wanna hear a joke? Ya, so do I."

"Knock Knock... Me: Knock Knock Other person: who's there Me: Allah Other person: Allah who? Me: Allah who Akbar (ALLAHU AKBAR BOOOOOOM)"

"I was with a blind prostitute today and she said I was the biggest she had ever had. She was just pulling my leg."

"A member of the Army Corps of Engineers was working on the design of the bottom of an android ""What exactly is going on?"", I asked. He replied, ""A Major engineering feet."""

"When I was a kid... ... I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work out."

"How many minutes after someone's fired is it cool to take their stapler?"

"Why aren't there any walmarts in Afghanistan? Because there's a Target on every corner!"

"Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes."