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Joke of the Day

"In my opinion - until they add extra fries, a martini & a joint - they have no business calling it a Happy Meal"

"I had a dream that a priest took a dump on my front lawn holy shit"

"Knock knock Who's there? Abby. Abby who. A bee has stolen my wallet. (I will show my self out)"

"Joke from my daughter Her: Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: Why? Her: To get to the ugly guy's house. Me:??? Her: Knock knock Me: Who's there? Her: It's the chicken!"

"Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD! Mr. Potato Head: What? Mrs. PH: Your browser history. Mr. PH: I can explain! Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?"

"[Enter restaurant] WIFE: See if you can get us a table ME: Ok [1 minute later] ME: [sprinting towards wife, carrying table] START THE CAR"

"Your penis is so small it could fit inside a 1948 donut hole"

"If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans sorry giraffe but I gotta do what's best for me"

"What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? full"

"The Barenaked Ladies have been pulled from the rubble alive, following the Nepal Earthquake. Its been One Week."