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Joke of the Day

"If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans sorry giraffe but I gotta do what's best for me"

"What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead hookers? Your erection."

"Why is Uhura black? Because William shat on her."

"What is ""Mary"" short for? She has no legs!"

"They say that murder rates go down with more employment, so I bet if we gave everybody jobs murdering people, they'd be really bad at it."

"How many mangoes make a dozen? Six girls ;)"

"My kid spilled milk in the back of my car last week ... Now I tell people it has a stinky dairy-air."

"What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose."

"One time I actually found a magic lamp with a genie inside but it was back in 2005 so that's why I have three Motorola Razrs."

"BEN AFFLECK: I'm directing a new movie and I was thinking about you for the lead role BEN AFFLECK: Well I'm obviously very flattered"