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Joke of the Day

"A man and a boy are walking through a dark forest... The boy turns to the man and says ""Its dark, I'm scared."" The man replies with ""You're scared? I have to walk back through here on my own!"""

"*after 7 hours in a Chinese restaurant* Me to waiter: ""Actually, do you think I could have a fork?"""

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. I was confused. I never met herbivore."

"What's better than roses on my piano? Tulips on my organ!"

"To those that say I'm Cancer I'm not Cancer, I'm Aquarius!"

"What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive? Aarrrrrrr Kelly!"

"Giant methane storm on Uranus. It just a really bad fart."

"How is a Buddhist monk and a bumblebee alike? They are both peaceful, but when pissed off have a tendency to burn."

"What happens when you eat burgers with onions? Bunions. (written by my 25 year old girlfriend)"

"I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?"