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Joke of the Day

"What's better than roses on my piano? Tulips on my organ!"

"Working on a new type of martial arts that involves taking money from Hispanics.. called TakeJuan'sDough."

"Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home."

"The pope secretly came to my house. He thought it was weird that I had so many Blu-rays still in the shrink wrap. I'll get around to them!"

"Writing my first book, I got stuck on the details... ...ended up haiku."

"Does anyone else love thick sandwiches with three slices of bread and two layers of filling? We should make a club."

"I want my next apartment to be located inside a Whole Foods."

"These quad copters just can't seem to leave the news... The media and hobbyists just keep droning on and on about them"

"Me getting kicked out of my feminist group was all just a big misterunderstanding."

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand It's seven"