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Joke of the Day

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. I was confused. I never met herbivore."

"Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can ""skip ad"" last 30 seconds?"

"What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night? Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny."

"You must be pretty famous! After all; bill gates did name his company after your dick."

"what's the difference between a cat and compound sentence? one has claws at the end of it's paws...the other has a pause at the end of it's clause."

"I heard Christians only count 1 through 9. I wonder what happens if they say 10?"

"You're an asshole Superman."

"My girlfriend doesn't give me any space in the bed, so I bought a bigger bed."

"A horse walks into a bar.... The barman says. , ""why the long face?"""

"I walked up to a lady and asked... ...""Can I smell your feet?"" ""No."" ""Oh,"" I said, ""Must be your pussy I smell then."""