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Joke of the Day

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. I was confused. I never met herbivore."

"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ""I think I've lost my electron."" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first replies, ""Yes, I'm positive..."""

"I hate it when I'm at someone's party and they keep asking stupid questions like... ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""

"[on date] girl: ""id like to if i met mr right, how bout you? have you ever been married"" henry the eighth: ""our food sure is taking a while"""

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."

"What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe? Call a big toe truck."

"Are you half decapitated? Because this joke is poorly executed."

"[bursts into garage] ""why is your car still on? you've been in here for 3 days"" i'm trying to kill myself ""but you drive an electric car"""

"Muslim children... The blow up so fast"

"I have a friend who doesn't drink coffee, so to stay alert at work he gets a healthy amount of sleep each night. What a loser"