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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you eat burgers with onions? Bunions. (written by my 25 year old girlfriend)"

"Customer: Couldn't you see I was going bald? Barber: No the shine from your head blinded me."

"What do you call a two-headed lesbian dinosaur? Eat-a-lotta-puss"

"Bad news for women: there's a glass ceiling. Good news for women: that's one more thing you get to Windex!"

"I tried giving a gentle reminder to my kids about cleaning their rooms, but a megaphone works much better."

"How can a room full of couples be empty? There isn't a single person left! Bwahahahahaha"

"Love, ethnic food, & the end of the world. What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world? El Taco Lips."

"Doctor Doctor...people keep ignoring me.. Next pls... im here all wk."

"My mate threw a beer bottle at my head It didn't break the skin but it left a nasty Brews"

"One day I bet bullets will be replaced by flowers, and guns will probably be replaced by something that fires flowers with deadly force."