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Joke of the Day

"After a concert Bono started clapping and then said ""Every time I clap, a child dies in Africa"" . . . Someone from the audience chimed ""Stop fucking clapping then"""

"My haunted house would be one where guys jump out w your tax forms improperly filled out & others handing you phones with your mom on hold."

"What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted :)"

"Some people like those European youngsters... But I prefer the euthanasia"

"""Are you ok?"" ""No, I'm bleeding because its fun."""

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !"

"My doctor said I had 2 months to live So I shot him, the judge gave me 30 years"

"Bigger Breasts Wife: ""How can I make my breasts bigger?"" Husband: ""Just rub toilet paper between them"" Wife: ""Why would that work?"" Husband: ""It worked on your butt"""

"What do you call a french organized crime detective? J'accuza"

"Surprises are always more fun... unless it's a baby. They tend to startle easily, so an ill-timed surprise may actually upset them."