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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you turn a cashew in to the police? You bust a nut"

"You know why people insisted on calling the Higgs Boson for ""the God particle""? Because since the Higgs Boson gives mass to tiny particles, they imagined that it had to be a tiny priest."

"What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas? Very hungry."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"" Mom: *staring at dad Dad: *clenches fists Mom: ""don't..."" Dad: *sweats profusely Mom: ........ Dad: ""HI GAY. I'M DAD"""

"The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn't amused when I said, ""I don't think it's working"""

"Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer."

"Did you hear about that deaf guy that tried climbing Mount Everest? Neither did he. Worst part was, no one ever heard from him again."

"What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone? You-Rang-a-Tang?"

"So it looks like there was a paedophile ring operating at the heart of Thatcher's government. I don't know why everyones so shocked, they were well known for fucking miners."

"Friends are like snowflakes, they gang up on you and tell you you're an alcoholic."