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Joke of the Day

"Friends are like snowflakes, they gang up on you and tell you you're an alcoholic."

"It's fun to park next to that car that's parked far away so that no one will park next to it."

"How do you know a girl is into you? Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't."

"I got in touch with my inner child and the little shit hung up on me."

"#Itssocoldthat..A streaker froze in mid-streak! The town council just stuck a plaque on him and pretended he was a Greek statue until spring"

"What does a Nazi Turkey say? Goebbels, Goebbels,Goebbels..."

"What's the difference between a condom and the congress? You can only fit one dick inside a condom."

"where does saddam hussein keep his c.d collection? In Iraq (a rack)"

"put this tweet on the news"

"*When I see someone else jaywalk* ""What an idiot."" *When I jaywalk* ""I am a trained professional. Do not attempt this yourself."""