132083

Joke of the Day

"I really want to drive private or hired cars. But I don't have anything to chauffeur it."

"When someone texts ""whatcha doin"" after midnight the appropriate response is ""someone else"" even if you're just eatin' pizza all alone."

"Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them."

"Time Lords make the worst lovers... It's always bigger on the inside"

"Why should Donald Trump change his name to Donald Duck? Because he's a quack."

"[my first day as a financial investor] ""I'm going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?"""

"My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100. She's a 10, but it sucks because she's imaginary."

"What do Subway and Chuck E Cheese's have in common? Shitty food."

"My mommy used to warn me that there could be creepy people on the internet. But I'm not afraid anymore... Now that I'm on reddit I'm one of those people."

"Finding out your ex has a bad life is like finding 100 $ in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."