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Joke of the Day

"Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!"

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? ...she didn't have any arms."

"To all those telling me this account is a sin - Don't worry about it, I plan on forgiving myself later"

"What's the Cincinnati Zoo's least favorite rap group? Gorillaz"

"Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler? He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes. A FSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"so i went to the clothes shop to buy camouflaged pants... ...and i didn't find any."

"I've lost all ability to feel... I'm numb.... I'm starting to slip away... I look forward to the empty, meaningless void Now pull the damn tooth, Doctor"

"I like my men like I like my coffee... White, tepid, and saccharine sweet."

"i don't usually brag about my friday night plans but i'm at a party with seven dogs so"