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Joke of the Day

"My thesis on Orbital Flatulence took seven years of hard work... Well, that's what I tell everyone. I was really just farting around."

"How do you tie two half ducks together? with ducktape!! "

"I took an instagram picture of a polaroid photo and my iPhone blew up."

"I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding."

"If a honey bee makes honey, what kind of bee makes milk? A boobie!"

"Damn girl, are you an ultrasound technician? Because I'd like to know what sex we're having."

"What's the latest pick-up line at gay bays? Hi - mind if I push in your stool?"

"If you want to touch the sky... Fuck a duck and you will fly! (I don' know who is credited with first saying this time-honored literary pearl.)"

"The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone has stolen every lamp in his house."

"I know it's normal to be naked in front of your doctor, but I still get really self-conscious every time I go to the optometrist"