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Joke of the Day

"the girls who tweet their horoscopes every day are the same girls who get drunk and then cry at parties."

"How does Big Boss store his photos? On a Solid Snake Drive 120 gb sorry :\"

"I figured why people make the same noises when they are carrying something and having sex They are both carrying a load."

"[estate planning] Advisor: Have you thought about an end-of-life gift? Me: I'll be dead, that's a big enough gift for everyone"

"If sex with 3 people is a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome."

"Why is it called her ""time of the month"" and not ""trouble in paradise?"""

"Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq? Because there are too many targets."

"Broke bakers need dough."

"There was an ignition recall on my new car.... I guess we're off to a bad start."

"If you REALLY need to get laid tonight, put on your oldest or most ridiculous underwear. It works every single time."