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Joke of the Day

"So two chocolate rabbits were talking to each other... ... One of them had a bite out of his butt and the other with a bite on his ears. So one rabbit says, ""My butt hurts"" and the other says ""What?"""

"What's the difference between a theatre-snack muncher and a person who watches police sex scenes? One likes popcorn, the other likes cop-porn."

"There's only 1 thing worse than ants in your pants.... ....and that's Uncles in your pants!"

"I asked my wife.. ""what would you do if I won the lottery?"" She replied, "" I would take half and leave you."" I said, ""good I won $12. Here's $6, now fuck off."""

"Forgive me Twitter, for I have sinned. It has been four days since my last tweet. Because, you know... weed and Sudoku."

"I'm so sleepy I feel like I can sleep through to next year"

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick..."

"What do you call an invisible mom that got a sex change? Transparent"

"A chicken lays a man on the floor Which came first?"

"How did God get Mary pregnant? He used the holy immaculate contraception"