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Joke of the Day

"A woman with an abnormally hyperactive sex drive is called a nymphomaniac. A man with the same condition is called a man"

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"""What protection do you use?"" ""Protection?"" ""When you have Sex."" ""Sex??"""
"Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? Nevermind he woke up!"
"One day my kids are gonna be like ""please let us off the roof"" and ill reply ""400 on black"" because ill be at a roulette table far far away."
"Would you like to know the best way to avoid drama? Just stop going to plays!"
"MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend dear. Fall down when she hits you."
"""IS THERE A DOCTOR ON THE PLANE???"" [i stand up super fast & knock myself out on the luggage compartment, requiring another doctor]"
"2005: We want cell phones to be so tiny 2015: We want cell phones the size of the big rib from the Flintstones intro that tips the car over"
"For a tennis player, what is the perfect crime? Racketeering"
"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? ...you can't milk a cow for a decade straight."
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