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Joke of the Day

"if your grave doesnt say ""rest in peace"" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war"

"The beauty of meditation is it helps instill inner peace in someone that makes it easy to pick his pockets."

"I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed."

"""I got hoes in different area codes."" - World's most disorganized landscaper."

"So Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Do you want a beer?"" Descartes responds, ""I think not!"" poof. he disappeared"

"What's the name of the new shawarma restaurant in Neverland? Pita Pan"

"I hate horror movies where everything goes back to normal at the end. You just had a demon inside you, but yeah, let's go for pancakes."

"Only France would name a city ""to lose."""

"Her: It's disgusting how many dirty habits you have. Me: THE NUNS PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO DO THIER LAUNDRY OK???"

"The movie Noah would be more entertaining if it was combined with Sharknado."