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Joke of the Day

"What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked? He couldn't think of anything, and said ""I'll mullet over"""

"Me: *reclines* Nice Wife: I still can't believe you bought a used gynecological exam table Me: I can see the tv perfectly between my legs"

"Willie Nelson's public statement regarding being caught with a bag of marijuana recently: ""It's a good thing I had a bag of marijuana. If it had been a bag of spinach, I'd be dead by now."""

"""I'm so sorry"" and ""my bad"" can be used interchangeably Except at funerals."

"What do you tell a person with two swollen eyes ? Nothing, you already told 'em twice."

"A refrigerator is the exact opposite of a drug addict. It starts off in a box and then moves to a house."

"He was a man of peace...until they burned down his village. Now, the quest for vengeance has turned him into...A Man Of Burning Things Down"

"What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman? Lots."

"Ddi Humpty Dumpty have a good winter? No, but he had a great Fall."

"What did Ron Goldman say to Nicole Brown Simpson at the Pearly gates? Heres your fucking sunglasses!"