196414

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between 'your mum' and 'knock knock' jokes? A door doesn't let you come inside."

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"What is slimy and wobbly tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish."
"When a killer makes you dig your own grave, throw the soil far away so he has trouble backfilling."
"What's Vladimir's favorite song? Putin on the Ritz"
"Officer: ""Do you know why I'm standing here?"" Me: ""You got all C's in High School?"""
"Girlfriend: ""Does this dress make me look fat?"" Me: ""Stop blaming the dresses."
"If you are an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? European"
"I thought it was called a Fist Bump Why not call it a Finger Bang?"
"I fake the art of fainting so well my favorite restaurant now refers to me as ""Low Blood Sugar Girl"" while rushing my limp body to a table."
"What do you call the people that Trump didn't pick to be in his cabinet? Qualified."