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Joke of the Day

"Pizza Joke If you slice up a large pizza, that's no big deal. But if you slice up a medium, you can get jail time. And she should have seen it coming."

"Dutch Girl I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"Offensively sexual** Whats the worst part about eating hairless pussy? You have to put the diaper back on after."

"what is the funniest number? 69, cuz its also the name of a sex move."

"""Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew"" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?"

"Why didn't the Chinese guy get any time off from work when he told them about his son's death? They didn't bereave him"

"Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her ""cupcake."" How do they know what that is? This movie doesn't seem very realistic, you guys."

"3 - DAD! HEY DAD! Me: Don't yell from the door son! Walk here and talk to me 3 - *walks over* 3 - I stepped in dog poop, what should I do?"

"The other day a Swedish man called me a racist and a believer of stereotypes... So Ikea'd his car."

"If the band Toto, drummer Tommy Lee & singer Marvin Gaye ever got together and made an album... ...I'm pretty it would be Toto Lee Gaye."