131100

Joke of the Day

"What happened when the child molester lost his job? Classroom 3-A got a new teacher."

"i once had a beautiful wife, she was always the prettiest when she was asleep. Unfortunately she died after i gave her too many sleeping pills."

"My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs."

"What do you call an incredibly flexible chicken with an alien wristwatch? Bent Hen."

"So what do you call a busy soviet A Russian....yeah...."

"At a job interview ""What are your strengths?"" ""I'm an optimist and a positive thinker"" ""Can you give me an example?"" ""Yes, when do I start?"""

"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts"

"How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible."

"What do you get your girlfriend for Valentines Day? A box of chocolate, flowers and a dildo. So if she doesn't like the chocolate and flowers she can go fuck herself."

"I have no regrets. By which I mean I regret not saying no more often."