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Joke of the Day

"""ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab--no ice-- no thats definitly a babey"" - man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey"

"Police are on the lookout for a magician dwarf who escaped prison. They're looking for a small medium at large."

"Why does Beyonce say ""to the left, to the left""? Because black people have no rights."

"Your mom's got eight vaginas and a Ph.D. We call her Dr. Octopus."

"[staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]"

"Dicks are like bullets Small calibers don't penetrate shit, and the exploding ones really fuck you up."

"TIFU trying to have sex and it went horribly wrong. 1 simple trick to make it to reddits front page."

"You can tune a piano But you can't tuna fish!"

"Sometimes you just have to grab the bull by the balls before you realize ""This can't be right."""

"Give a man a compliment & he'll be all, ""Yeah, I've been working out."" Teach a man to fish for a compliment & he'll be all, ""I feel SO fat."""