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Joke of the Day

"[staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]"

"Nice try, fat girls ordering a salad on the first date. Nice try."

"What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common? Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time."

"I'm like Jason Bourne, only I'm not looking for exits in each room.. I'm looking for outlets & phone chargers."

"What does BMW mean Some say Bitch Moan Wine others say Black mans Willy Post what you think"

"I can't believe that... after all the times my girlfriend called me ""daddy"", she still didn't get me anything for Father's Day."

"Cooking two tortillas at the same time like some kind of Mexican DJ."

"*kneels to pray* ""Hello, God?"" ""YOU'VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT."" ""Who is this?"" ""MY NAME IS BRAD."" ""Are you in Heaven, Brad?"" ""NO, INDIA."""

"A bit rapey.. The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did too, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from."

"How was the red sea made? Over a very long period."