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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is kind of like a ninja attack.. They're two things I'll never see coming. (I've never been so proud of myself for writing a joke)"

"The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus."

"What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? Cha Ching."

"What do you call eight rabbits walking backwards together? A receding hare-line."

"""You know, when I was a surgeon in the army my nickname was Nodoc."" It's what my patients always told me before they went under."

"Why do white people shop from black people's yard sales? To get their stuff back."

"There are two types of people in this world 1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"My dick is so big I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate."

"I am like an electron.... My wife can only make guesses at my precise location by means of a probability function"

"After handing a girl my mixtape I asked her if she was ready for TOTAL AURAL SATISFACTION not realizing what it had sounded like."