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Joke of the Day

"""You know, when I was a surgeon in the army my nickname was Nodoc."" It's what my patients always told me before they went under."

"What's the difference between an oral and anal thermometer? The taste"

"Why did the car swerve off the road? It hit the chicken. Bazing!"

"What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint? I'm always taken for granite!"

"your mama so fat she was going to walmart tripped over kmart and landed right on target!!!"

"As if being a surgeon wasn't enough you're a general too?"

"My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said ""bless you"" now she just staring at the bushes confused wondering who said that"

"GPS: You're not really lost, you just want someone to talk to."

"GET OVER HERE thunders across the bar as a harpooned rope impales a beautiful girl. The bartender smiles and shakes his head at Scorpion."

"What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are wanted"