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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather once told me, ""Your generation is too reliant on technology."" So I replied, ""No, *your* generation is too reliant on technology!"" Then I disconnected his life support."

"Babies are terrible at running their own small businesses."

"MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN SO I CAN FINALLY WINK AT THE CAT AS MUCH AS I WANT"

"What do you call a gaming double entendre? A Ninutendo"

"I have a black belt in leather"

"I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area."

"Lipstick Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?"

"Susan broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine."

"Why was Twelve running from Seven? Because Seven had a fucking rocket launcher!"

"The world is becoming too politically correct You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say ""Lamar can you please paint the fence""."