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Joke of the Day

"Babies are terrible at running their own small businesses."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel in the front of his pants. The bartender asks ""isn't that bothering you?"" The pirate replies ""aye, it be driving me nuts."""

"If we can afford to have armed guard for our money at the banks, surely we can afford to have armed guards for our kids at schools. Where are your priorities people?"

"I cheated on my taxidermist girlfriend. Now I'm stuffed..."

"What comes at the end of every Ray Rice joke? the punchline"

"What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand ? Birdsthigh fish fingers !"

"How did the pastry chef do on the donut-making exam? She passed with frying crullers."

"Websites that are similar to Reddit."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent."

"""How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?"" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months."