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Joke of the Day

"Now that oil is so cheap, we should start drilling for black printer ink."

"They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business."

"I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST."

"Just found $4 on the ground. Well, more like $2.40 after my ex wife claims her share"

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because he found it soda pressing."

"Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Unless you're talking about Oreos."

"Interviewer: How would you describe yourself? Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance."

"Zac effrons move flopped. Because he was afraid of 138"

"I used to have a friend who practiced acupuncture."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday , one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off."