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Joke of the Day

"They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business."

"Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back? Because they will be at your funeral in spirit"

"Why did the stripper need more insurance? She had little to no coverage."

"Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium? To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime."

"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas... How he got into my pajamas, I don't know. - Groucho Marx"

"This may be the wine talking but help he's drinking me, he's drinking me."

"Why can't women drive? Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom."

"Luis Suarez is teaming up with Joe Hart to advertise Head and bloody Shoulders."

"What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground."

"Took the family out for doughnuts They did not like having to give blood."