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Joke of the Day

"I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST."

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"What did the jealous prostitute say at the orgy? Don't blow this for me."

"Best joke I've heard in a while feminism"

"People who eat ass have a shitty taste in sex"

"So, Apparently 'Human Centipede' Is Getting ANOTHER Sequel. 'Human Turducken'"

"I've set my hair on fire lighting a cigarette before, so I'm always impressed when the movie-hero walks away from an explosion unharmed."

"Can't wait to get old so I can shower sitting down."

"The moment you realise... The new COD has space battles and Star Wars battlefront doesn't."

"Why did the cloud get $10M for having a fight? He was the raining champion."