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Joke of the Day

"You wanna see the most dangerous animal in the world mate? Go look in the mirror. (I've locked an adult male puma in their bathroom)"

"What do you call a frog that's parked illegally? Toad."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you."

"I'm not saying it's hard for me to lose weight, I'm just saying if you interrupt me when I'm eating I'm starting over."

"I like my coffee like I like my women: filled with booze."

"How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch."

"Rumour... I heard a rumour that a man in town is selling a fake bedside-clock. It's a false alarm."

"Q: What do you call a blind German? A: A Not See (Nazi)"

"How did Darth Vader cross the street? Ewoked."

"RIP hacker who was spying on me through my Laptop's camera. Died of boredom"