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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying it's hard for me to lose weight, I'm just saying if you interrupt me when I'm eating I'm starting over."

"When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt."

"What's the most sought after ball in Biopsy Bingo? B9"

"Get off my lawn. Oh, it's you. Mow the lawn. -My dad"

"My favorite part of deleting your history... ...is when you can still go to the previous page."

"How can you make seven even? Take away the letter S."

"A list of Hilary Clinton jokes. [deleted]"

"What does the dot on an Indian woman's forehead signify? Coffee's ready"

"Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl"

"[picking out a washing machine] how many watermelons can this hold? ""uhh I dunno, 11?"" only 11? *keeps walking to next one* how many waterme"