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Joke of the Day

"Why are you on /r/Jokes? What arrr ya buncha pirates or sumthin? *tssssssss*"

"You know you screwed up with your blind girlfriend when she says ""We should see other people""."

"Thank god I have the newest, fastest iPhone so I can mindlessly check the same three apps 500 times a day."

"At least we know the people who killed the 5 cops in Texas weren't terrorists Because Muslims can't kill pigs. I'm going to hell"

"I bought some shoes from my drug dealer... But I don't think they were laced because I've been tripping all day."

"Today I told my boyfriend he can have as much anal sex as he wants... After all it's his butt."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Venus de Milo Barbie ...made of rock; no head no arms"

"Purell is 99.8% effective in reminding you about your paper cut."

"""I donno. America's Got Ghosts?"" -- someone in charge of a channel I probably pay $10 a year for and never watch."

"I'm really pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I've got eight fridges."