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Joke of the Day

"I'm really pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I've got eight fridges."

"I never could figure out what people did for entertainment before the Internet... None of my 17 siblings can figure it out either."

"Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, ""A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"" The other monster replied, ""Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."""

"You wanna know the most HUMOROUS person I know? My Chiropractor, he really cracks me up"

"We're choosing the paleontology exhibit over church because Jesus died for our sins but dinosaurs died for our Hummer."

"How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh don't worry, they'll let you know."

"I bought a toaster with variable browning control but all it will say is ""Take away love and our earth is a tomb""."

"Did you hear about a Russian-speaking Indian? He worships a moss cow"

"When I think of a good tweet in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late."

"I have a new job. I'm a dressing room attendant for dancers at a strip club. $300/week. That's not much, but it's all I can afford."