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Joke of the Day

"Purell is 99.8% effective in reminding you about your paper cut."

"What do you call an angry German? A sauerkraut"

"How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a sty-scraper!"

"What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath? You can't ride your bike on a sociopath"

"What do you call a green polo shirt? Collared greens"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a rubber band Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!"

"Rage against the machine is what I do when my candy bar gets stuck and won't drop down."

"It's not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize."

"i was just roughed up by a hipster bully. he gave me a knuckle sandwich, but also offered a gluten free alternative"

"What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? The Mercedes can easily reach 40."