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Joke of the Day

"If Trump dies in office he won't even admit it. He'll keep tweeting from the grave: ""VERY dishonest coroner's report says I died. Sad!"""

"What's my New Year resolution? Well, I just got a Hi-Def TV, so it's 1920 X 1080i."

"My wife and I lost 150lbs combined! So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!"

"Your Ex asking to be friends after breaking up is like......Kidnappers asking to ""keep in touch"" after letting you go"

"How do Freudians describe the human mind? As a huge ENEMA, I mean huge enigma....."

"Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!"

"I was watching ""Who wants to be a Millionaire?"" on Zimbabwean TV."

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"

"What do you do when a cannibal eats a vegetable? Throw away the wheelchair"

"There's only one thing I love more than bacon ...and I can't put pussy in my mashed potatoes."