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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"

"A little girl told her mother ""Mommy, I want to be a feminist when I grow up!"" The mother answered ""Well make up your mind, sweetheart""."

"i was doing yard work today when i stopped to tell a pile of leaves how cold fusion works. needless to say they were blown away."

"Dogs that don't bark are the most dangerous of all They're woofless"

"Christmas these days is a lot like having sex The build up is great but when it finally comes, I regret spending all that money."

"I've been dating this lady who is gluten free... Problem is, we go to a deli, she asks, ""do you want to split a sandwich."" I say, ""sure"" and then I'm just left with the bread."

"Unfaithful Russian men come home to find all their stuff in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box on the sidewalk."

"Q:How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A:Kick his sister in the jaw!!"

"*creating garbage cans* God: ""That's where trash goes"" *creating my twitter* God: ""That's where trash comes from"""

"Being old is like being in prison... It hurts to bend over."